


The Reason You're You

by iwillgodownwithbuddie (rebeldawgspirategirl)



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Dad Evan "Buck" Buckley, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Family, Family Feels, M/M, Past Relationship(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-03
Updated: 2020-01-03
Packaged: 2021-02-25 09:14:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,714
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22093624
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rebeldawgspirategirl/pseuds/iwillgodownwithbuddie
Summary: Buck moved on from Abby a long time ago.  He's in a stable relationship with a man who will always have his back.  He absolutely adores the kid they're co-parenting.  But with the way things ended with Abby, Buck still needs closure.
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley & Abby Clark, Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz
Comments: 11
Kudos: 302





	The Reason You're You

**Author's Note:**

> I may have watched the entire first season on New Years Eve. And I don't regret it for a second. It's what inspired this story. Enjoy!

It was a calm evening for once in Los Angeles. Buck was sitting at the dining room table enjoying dinner with Eddie and Christopher. They were laughing and talking about their day, Christopher telling them about school and them telling Christopher about some of the simpler calls they were on, when his cell phone started blaring from across the room. Buck quickly excused himself from the table and answered the phone, not even looking at the caller ID.

"Uh hello?" he said as he brought the phone up to his ear.

"Buck?" a familiar female voice responded.

Buck felt his heart drop into his stomach and found himself quickly sitting into the nearest chair. It had been a voice he had thought he’d never hear again after he dropped her off at the airport. It had been just over two years since she left. It had taken so long for him to get over her and then even longer to pull his head out of his ass and move on. Buck couldn’t describe how he was feeling in this moment now that she was calling. 

As Buck fell into one of the living room chairs, Eddie looked over at his boyfriend with concern. He couldn’t tell, though, what was happening on the other end of that call. He was simply too far away to hear who Buck was talking to. Eddie turned his attention away from Buck briefly to tell Christopher to go to his room and play. As soon as Christopher was no longer in the room, Eddie deserted the table and sat on the arm of the chair, hoping his presence would offer some sort of comfort to his distressed boyfriend while also hoping he’d overhear some of the conversation.

As Eddie perched himself on the arm of the Chair, Buck looked up and smiled briefly before remembering that he was one the phone. "Abby?" Buck said in disbelief.

Abby chuckled nervously. "Thought you hung up there for a minute. I didn't know who else to call. I don't know what I was thinking really. I've see your Facebook page. I know you have a family now and the last thing you need is--"

"Abby, slow down" Buck interrupted. "What's up?"

"I'm sitting in LAX with no one to pick me up and nowhere to go. And I didn't know who else to call."

Eddie tapped Buck to get his attention, having heard everything. He knew that Buck longed for some sort of closure with Abby and was hopeful that he would finally get it. He didn’t even hesitate to say his next words as soon as he had Buck’s attention. "Let's go," he whispered. "I'll go grab Christopher and we'll go get her from the airport."

“One second, Abby.” Buck hit the mute button on the call and looked up to face Eddie. "Are you sure?"

Eddie nodded. "I know she meant a lot to you. Between what you’ve told me and what everyone else has told me, she has a lot to do with the person you are now. So yes, I’m sure."

Buck smiled and leaned up to briefly kiss Eddie, thankful his boyfriend was so understanding. Then he unmuted the call. "We'll be right there."

"We?" Abby asked confused. 

Buck looked Eddie directly in the eyes as he spoke. "Yeah. We. Me, my boyfriend, and our son. I think you’ll like them. We'll be there in half an hour, provided traffic's on our side."

Five minutes later, they were in Buck's jeep headed towards the airport. Eddie knew there were things Buck wanted to say, but he wasn't about to push him. He rode in the passenger's seat silently, holding onto Buck's right hand as they made their way down the interstate. 

After 10 minutes of no noise but the sounds coming from the cell phone Christopher was playing on, Buck finally spoke.

"I don't know what I'm going to do or say when I see her," he whispered. "There's a part of me that will always love her, and frankly, that scares me just a little."

Eddie squeezed Buck's hand comfortingly. "Of what? Scared you'll revert back into Buck 1.0 or something? That you'll see her and jump out of this car forgetting the family you're a part of?"

Buck nodded, that’s exactly what he was scared of. "I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I did that, but the thought terrifies me."

"Which is exactly why I know you won't. I know that you will always love her just like I will always love Shannon and Athena will always love Michael. You aren't the same person you were when you joined the department. You have Abby to thank for that. It’s because you’re scared you’ll run off that I’m certain you won’t.”

“How can you be so sure?” 

Buck sounded so vulnerable. Eddie wished he could take away all of Buck’s fear and uncertainty, but he knew that Buck had to work through it to get what he needed. “The Buck you were when you met Abby might have, but the Buck you are now knows he has too much at stake. You need closure, and I understand that. So we are going to walk into that airport and make sure you get the closure you need."

"I love you and Christopher so much.” Buck’s voice was full of emotion. He had to make sure that Eddie knew that before they got to the airport. He was grateful that Eddie was understanding and supporting him in meeting up with his old girlfriend.

Eddie smiled as he ran his thumb over the back of Buck’s hand. "We know. And we both love you. So," he said, thinking back to Buck on the phone at the house. "Our son?"

Buck blushed. "I know he's your son and I'm not expecting anything else. Heck I only moved in two weeks ago. I just wanted to make sure that she knew things were different. That I was different."

"Buck, it's okay,” Eddie assured him, laughing. “I liked it. I liked you referring to him as ours."

"But he's not."

"Not yet," Eddie said turning and smiling at Buck from the passenger's side. "Maybe we need to have that conversation. Not tonight. There’s too many things going on tonight to have that conversation about the future, but soon."

Buck pulled his jeep into a parking spot before looking over at his partner with hopeful eyes. "Soon?" Buck could see it all. He could see him marrying Eddie and signing adoption papers for Christopher. 

"Yep," Eddie said, nodding. "So how about grabbing our son and heading inside? Not fair to keep her waiting when we're already here."

Eddie hopped out of the car and stood waiting while Buck opened the back seat and lifted Christopher out. "You want to walk, bud? Or do you want me to just carry you? It is kind of late."

Christopher wrapped his arms tighter around Buck's neck. "I think you need me up here, kid," he said. Buck looked over at Eddie amazed at just how much Christopher had understood in the car.

"I didn't think you were listening?" Buck said, adjusting Christopher's weight to make carrying him through LAX easier. They began walking towards the entrance.

"I'm always listening. You're scared. But we aren't going anywhere. Right Dad?" Christopher asked as they caught up with Eddie. 

"Right," Eddie confirmed, taking Buck's free hand in his own and lacing their fingers together. "We aren't going anywhere."

The trio made their way to the baggage claim area for international arrivals. It didn't take long before Buck spotted her, sitting by a window watching planes as they took off and landed on the runway outside. As soon as he spotted her, he froze. 

Eddie spotted her only a second after Buck, having seen a few pictures of her from Buck and other members of the team. He squeezed his hand and encouraged Buck to take a step forward.

"Abby?" Buck said as he walked forward still holding on to Christopher and Eddie like they were his lifeline.

Abby turned her head and smiled at the man she had loved and left two years earlier. "Hi Buck," she said as she stood up. "Look I'm sorry I called you. I just didn't know who else I could call. I'm sure everyone else hates me for the way I just left."

"No," Buck argued. "No one hates you."

"I got your letter," she whispered. "That's the only reason I knew you didn't hate me. And if anyone should hate me, it's you."

"Look, as much as I need this conversation, I don't think LAX is the best place to have it. So why don't you come with us, stay at our place for a couple of days." He turned to his side and nudged Eddie forward. "Abby, this is my boyfriend, Eddie. And this,” he said, gesturing to the kid he was holding on to, “is our son, Christopher."

Abby smiled at the man standing next to Buck and the young boy curled up in Buck's arms. "It's nice to meet you both. I feel like I know you already with how much Buck posts about the two of you on Facebook."

"Well, it's nice to meet you too," Eddie said. "The first few months I knew Buck, you were all he would talk about. And remind me to thank you later."

"For what?" Abby said.

"Him," Eddie replied. "So we should probably start heading back home. Traffic's gonna start picking back up again." 

Eddie, ever the gentleman, grabbed Abby's bag and led the group in the direction of the parking structure. He offered the passenger's seat to Abby, but she politely declined, opting to sit in the back seat alongside Christopher who was happily playing video games on Buck's cell phone. She watched as Buck and Eddie linked hands across the center console and smiled.

"So you work for LAFD too?" Abby asked. “Like I said, Buck posts a lot about you and your son on Facebook. It feels like I know you even though we never met.”

"Uh yeah," Eddie answered, turning slightly in his seat so that he could look at her as he talked. "Not long after you left, I joined the 118. He used to talk a lot about you. I recognized you almost as fast as he did he showed off so many pictures."

"I'm glad you were there for him. I feel like I’ve missed a lot while I’ve been gone. LA seems like a different place."

"Two years is a long time, Abby," Buck said. "It’s like 8:30. Did you eat anything for dinner?" 

"Um, no. I called as soon as I got through customs." 

"Our food's going to be ice cold when we get home," Buck directed at Eddie. "Want to just pick something up?"

They stopped at a drive-thru not far from the house and picked up meals for everyone before heading to the house. They sat at the table, only making small talk while eating. After dinner, Buck volunteered to put Christopher to bed, leaving Abby and Eddie in the living room to talk.

"He's nervous," Abby noted. 

"You coming back has thrown him off a bit," Eddie admitted. "It took him a while to get over you. He will always love you, but he had to move on. And with you just suddenly showing up, he's not exactly sure what he's feeling. It's almost like he's finally letting himself feel how hurt he was."

"I didn't mean to hurt him,” she explained. “I needed to leave."

"Oh he knows that. Doesn't change the fact that it hurt."

"He seems great with Christopher. He always had a soft spot for kids. I remember him telling me about rescuing a kid from one of those claw machines and a few calls he was one with babies.”

Eddie chuckled. "It's like he was meant to be a dad. He absolutely adores Christopher and Christopher thinks Buck hung the moon."

Just then, Buck walked back into the room. Eddie met him by the hallway to tell Buck that he was going to get a quick shower and that he'd be back with blankets and a pillow for Abby when he got out. With a quick peck on the lips and a tight embrace, Eddie left the room.

Buck crossed the room and sat in the chair across from Abby. He was silent for a moment before taking a deep breath and looking up from the floor to Abby's eyes. "Two years. You've been gone for two years without a word of when you were coming back."

"I know, Buck. And I'm sorry," Abby whispered. "The longer I was gone, the harder it was for me to get on that plane and come back."

"You could have called. I was waiting for you and you never called."

"I know. And if there's one thing I do regret about the past two years, it was leading you on like that."

"What do you want from me, Abby?"

"I look around here and I see this incredible life you've built for yourself and the family you're a part of. I just don't want to spend another two years watching it through Facebook posts. I want to be your friend."

"A lot happened while you were gone. A lot has changed."

"So tell me."

So he did. He told her about the 7.1 earthquake. He told her about rescuing people from the upper floors of the collapsing building and then Hen from the crushed garage. He told her about the bomber and the firetruck that crushed his leg. He told her how hard he worked to get back to his job only to have a pulmonary embolism and get set back even more time. He told her about the tsunami and how he and Christopher had gotten caught in it. He told her about them getting separated and how he had to tell Eddie that he had lost Christopher in the chaos. He told her about the lawsuit and how it almost ruined the best thing he had before it even got started. He told her how he and Eddie flirted around each other for the longest time until finally, just after the Christmas they both had to work, they had gotten their shit together and started dating. He talked about officially moving in with Eddie and how they had started talking about their future together.

All while Buck was talking, Abby sat there listening. She almost couldn't believe just how much Buck had gone through over the past couple of years. "I guess I did miss a lot. I'm glad none of that took your life."

Buck smirked. "I certainly lucked out." He looked up to see Eddie walking down the hallway, blankets in hand. "In more ways than one."

Abby observed Buck when Eddie entered the room. She smiled as Buck's face lit up at the sight of his partner. They certainly were a family unit. They moved together to get the couch ready for Abby to sleep in a way that made Abby long for a partnership like theirs. 

"Thank you," she said as they stepped back from the now ready sofa. "You didn't have to do this. I could have found a hotel until I found a place to stay. I almost feel like I don't deserve this after they way I left."

Buck shared a brief look with Eddie and smiled. He walked towards Abby and wrapped his arms around her in a brief, yet emotion-filled embrace. "I wouldn't want you to. I'm glad you called. I needed this. I needed this closure, and I hope we can still be friends."

As Buck stepped back, Eddie took his place. "He changed because of you. He's the man I love because of you. So thank you. And don't bother with a hotel. Stay here, at least for the next few days. See the person he's become, the father he's become."

"Make sure you take care of him," she whispered in Eddie's ear.

"Always," Eddie assured her. "I plan to do that for the rest of my life."

**Author's Note:**

> Reblog on Tumblr: https://iwillgodownwithbuddie.tumblr.com/post/190028176703/the-reason-youre-you


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